Wedding Team

Wedding Party – What to Offer and Ask for?

Originally published on Meidän Häät – sivustolla.

First I have to make a confession: I have never been a member of a wedding party. 

Maybe it’s because I lived nine years abroad in different countries so I’ve tended to have more acquaintances than close friends as I was moving around so much. Now, that we are planning our wedding, I’ve realized I don’t really know how things are usually done. A good example is the bridal party. What can you ask of them and what are you expected to offer?

Because making lists is about the most fun thing I know, here’s a list of things we have thought about so far.

1. Outfits

My first thought was that the bridal party will pay for their own outfits as we have an expensive wedding to pay for… Nobody seemed to mind the least but after thinking about it more I changed my mind. After all, I was hoping for a certain type of a dress and I don’t think anyone will have use for it afterwards so it didn’t seem fair to ask them to pay for it. So we decided to take something out of the budget and instead pay for the bridal party’s outfits.

2. Decorations

For decorations I know that at least one of my bridesmaids is really looking forward to doing crafts so I think we’ll have all the help we need. Luckily I have bridesmaids and MoH who have an eye for these kinds of things so even a control freak like me feels comfortable enough to let others take responsibility too. I don’t know how creative our best men are but we’ll find out soon enough. 🙂

Xmas party for the finnish bridal party and the little one is having a great time 😀

3. Responsibilities on the wedding day

At our venue the price includes cleaning and we can pick up decorations the next day so luckily nobody has to do any cleaning on the night of. One of our best men has agreed to be the master of ceremony and I’m sure there will be small tasks for others as well. Our hope is that the bridal party can enjoy the day without too many responsibilities.

4. Decorations on the day of

We have quite a lot of decorating to do on the day of even though we should be able to do some of it beforehand. Since the wedding starts at 2pm, it’s important to make sure everyone is left with enough time to get ready. We have booked our wedding night room for the day before already, so we can get ready there and it’s not too far from the venue so that should help a bit. My makeup will be done by one of my nieces who’s a makeup artist and she has promised to help everyone with their makeup as time permits. I’m also asking for the hairdresser to come to the hotel but if bridesmaids or MoHs want their hair done, I’m asking them to cover that themselves. We just can’t fit everything in our budget…

5. Speeches

Speeches are great! However, if everyone in the bridal party gives a long speech and you add the speeches from outside the bridal party the event will start to resemble a conference… On the other hand, if the speeches are written down and rehearsed they should go smoothly. My two MoHs and bridesmaids are planning to give their speech together and I think that’s a great idea.

6. Emotional support

So far the biggest help from the support group has been emotional. A lot of times when we have faced a big decision, I have sent them a message and they have given me their opinions and thoughts on the matter. It’s been a big help and it’s been great to know that we are not left alone with everything but help is available if we ask for it.

7. Bachelorette/Bachelor party

One of the biggest responsibilites of the bridal party is to organize the bachelor(ette) parties. Depending on the party, it can get quite expensive so that is also why we would very much like them to really enjoy not just the wedding but the time leading to it too. It is, after all, a great honor to be in the bridal party and we want them to have a great experience.

Great aunt’s liquor cabinet is tempting…

8. Thank yous

A small thank you to the bridal party is a gift given either before or after the wedding. I have chosen matching robes for my MoHs and bridesmaids. I don’t think Eerikki has chosen a gift yet for his best men. The day after the wedding we were thinking about going for a brunch with out bridal party. We might not be able to cover everyone’s expenses and wouldn’t require anyone to attend but it would be great to see them all together one more time after the wedding and give our thanks.

Have you wrestled with similar questions? Please let me know if I’ve forgotten to mention something relevant.

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